Selfish
by BloodRedSnowWhite
Summary: Dean is selfish for staying. Set in the episode of Croatoan. Oneshot. DeanOC SamAWOL.


smack me because I'm a horrible writer. :/

* * *

He was being selfish and stupid.

Sam was an idiot for letting that bastard kid bleed into his wound but not as stupid as me for believing that dumb blonde she was not infected. I should've stayed by Dean, stood beside him like he has always ordered for me to do. I was an idiot; I was too stubborn to let anyone boss me around. He and I both knew the trouble we've gone through, I guess Sam was right. I had a thick skull. The three of us came to town after Sam had a vision of Dean shooting some guy, I have to say that these visions he's having; I still ain't use to them.

I miss him and I know that I can't see him again. Unless Dean finds him, ties him down and brings him in here. I can't believe Sam, my big brother, had let down his guard for a second and got him self infected. Before, he was the only person in this world that mattered to me. Now that he's gone, I figured that it was just going to be Dean and naïve, Romy Winchester. I still can't believe that he's gone. After that kid had cut him and bled in his wound, we patched him up and drove to town. Dean and I had got out of the car for just a few minutes and came back to find Sam gone. Along the way, I figured that we couldn't save him but Dean wouldn't give up.

"I wish we had a deck of cards or a foosball machine." I turned my head to the side.

"You're being an idiot, Dean." I said quietly, tears threatening to escape from my eyes.

"I am, am I?" He raised a brow and forced a grin.

"What are you doing, Dean?"

He turned around and played with some medical instruments. He ignored my question and asked one himself. "The last time you did your hair," He stated, "what did you do with it?"

I shook my head and sighed. If I said I was an idiot, Dean is the king of Idiotsville. I'm not sure what he's trying to pull but I'm not going to let him get through it. "I tied it into a bun. A ponytail had been overdone; I figured I'd try something different."

"I liked it," He said, "it looked great on you."

I raise a brow and watch the back of his head. He turns around, placing the medical instrument back in its place. He looks up at me and looks away. I look down, suddenly afraid. "I'm sick, Dean. It's over for me. Sam and I are done. You… you have a chance. Leave and don't look back."

"Who says I want to?"

Sam and I met Dean when we were looking up that Welch ghost; Dean had been chased by the cops and knocked me off my feet. Literally. He hadn't even looked back. That night, we saw him again at the bridge. He's car was "possessed" and nearly killed us all. After that, things just escalated. Dean and I we have this off and on kind of relationship, if you want to call it that. I don't think he knows that I have a little "crush" on him. What an idiot.

"Dean, just go. Go have that apple pie life you've always dreamed of." He didn't say anything, just stayed quiet and didn't make eye contact. He was really pissing me off. I'm being selfish for being secretly happy that he chose to stay. Tears threatened and I tensed my shoulders, feeling the anger boiling inside of me. "Dean…"

"…"

I stayed quiet, angry at myself. Angry at him for being such an idiot.

"I'm not… I'm tired, Romy. I'm tired of this life… this job. I can't continue to do this."

"Dean, if it's about your father-"

"It's not about him."

"Then what is it?" The silence came back and I grew even angrier. I wanted to grab him and push him out of the door. But he's much stronger than me and even if I did get him past, he'd just stay there and manage to pick the lock. The silence became deafening. "Dean?"

He didn't say anything at first. "You and Sam… You're all I have."

More silence.

And more.

"What?"

"Romy, I – I can't do this without… without you."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't."

"Dean, yes you can."

"I don't want to."

Silence.

"I'm staying."

After that, the doctor knocked on the door and she said some things but I didn't hear any of it. I was too busy thinking about what Dean had said. He looked at me, maybe wondering what I was thinking. But I said nothing. I just stayed near him until things started to quiet down in my head. We found Sam, I have no idea how. But in the distance Dean saw him walking, battered clothing, pale faced and sure as hell looked like shit. I don't know what happened next. Things just weren't the same for Dean and me anymore.

We stayed at a hotel that night, found a room with two double beds. I held onto Sam a little longer, watching his every move, wondering if he might disappear again. Dean said not to worry. For once, I wasn't complaining about Sam taking so long in the washroom. "He's not going anywhere." He promised.

"Are you?" I touched his knee with mine.

"No." Dean's always so selfish.


End file.
